In my family we have a Christmas Tradition. We always watch White Christmas. I love the songs in and Rachael and I often break out in the 'Sisters, Sisters' song randomly in a store and of course embarrass mom. There is a song that the main character (played by Bing Crosby) sings that was sort of an inspiration for this post.
"When your worried and you can't sleep just count your blessing instead of sheep. and you'll fall asleep counting your blessings.."
The first word of this post. It is explained now. LIFE.
That is the blessing! He breathed life into us. He knew us before our parents knew of us. Life is a blessing. Everyday is a blessing. What do we do with the life that he gives us?? Are we living this life to the fullest? What are we doing with His Gift?
I had an epiphany the other day. I was looking into my past. I was suicidal at one point thinking that there was nothing to live for. I thought there was no one who would ever want me and I was doomed for loneliness. The thought of being alone with myself forever not only scared me but led me to think that a life like that was not worth living. The truth is no one is ever alone. God is always with us no matter what. So the other day I was beginning to feel lonely and the devil used it as an open door. But I was ready with an angel by my side, my soldier helping me fight the battle. I was not going to let Satan make me feel depressed and sorry for myself. So I decided to count my blessings that God has given me and the ones He has used that promise me future a future of happiness. He has giving me a second chance and what am I doing with it? I thought I would share a few of the blessings..
(ps this is not in order of preference just as they come back to my mind :)
1. My Mother. She has been the rock and foundation that kept our childhood, which was filled with earthquakes, stable. She is the hero that saved the day many times for many people. She has no Supersuit. She needs no thanks. Everything she does is for others not for the recognition. Her patience is bigger than I could ever know and something that I pray to be like her. Through all the trials of life, she was the constant. We watched her treated horrible at work, the devil trying to tear down her wall of faith. BUT in truth it only made her stronger! If I could only be a fraction of the person and christian she is. There were things in her life that threw curve balls at her and she just continued on as if nothing happened but still stronger than she was before with more faith than ever. She is my one and only hero and one of my greatest blessings!! She gave birth to me and has been there for me all 21 1/2 years I have been living!! :) I am soooo blessed to have her in my life and to call HER my mommy!! :) I thank God daily for this special blessing!
2. My Salvation. Through Christ I am made new. I might not be alive today if not for Him. He never left me even when I turned my back on Him, it just made Him work harder to get my attention. The problem is that the Devil then counter attacked. I was contemplating suicide thinking that there was nothing to live for. Through Christ I have new life and a reason to live! I have been set free!! It has been a battle. Life is hard but with God he helps give us the strength to endure it. We are not perfect but he continues to teach us lessons. His grace is so amazing. He helps us learn from our mistakes so that we don't make them again. I am so thankful for the blessing of life from Him. His grace. His forgiveness I don't deserve it but there it was. I needed to humble myself and ask for His forgiveness and He washed me clean by the Blood His Son shed on the cross. The past is gone I have a new life. Clean. White as snow. It is hard to completely comprehend it sometimes but that doesn't change how true it still is. I am so in love with Him. He brought me peace to my mind and power to defeat the devil. This life is the biggest blessing I have. I am so excited to see what He has planned for the rest of it!!
3. My Sisters. These two are the reason I am not insane. (or the reason I am in denial and really am insane). I treated them so horrible growing up. Beating up both the younger and the older. But not all the time was it like that. I have a lot of great memories with them both. Rachael and my imagination. The elaborate things that we could think up. The forts we made. The beanie baby families that to this day we still remember. The barbies and always arguing who had to voice Ken and whose barbie got to marry him haha. We have a LOT of inside jokes that we can bust up laughing in a library (or at work) and I seriously think that everyone must think we are absolutely insane. We are when we are together. Then there is Danielle. I look up to more than she will ever know. She is a great mom! Her kids adore her. Her work ethic is so admirable working to provide for her family. She has drive in school that I wish I had. She is so driven in life. Not to mention she is tough and survived boot camp!! She is the sister who I always admired but never let her know how much. I love and care for her more than she will ever truly understand. I am so blessed to have them both in my life. We are all crazy and we all complete each other and keep each of us in check. We are so much closer now that we are older. I wouldn't trade them for anything in the world. Plus Danielle gave me the most amazing niece and nephew anyone could ask for! They are amazing and I love them soo much! I am so lucky to be their auntie!
4. My Flesh and Blood Family. They are the only people in life who will ALWAYS love you, forgive you, and be there for you. (other than God of course). I have been blessed with a HUGE family! Like every other family we have our quirks. But in a time of need we are there for each other. I was blessed with a lot of protectors. Our family (my moms side at least) has a male majority. My mom supplies most of the females for the group. These boys like to act tough around us and in front of the other guys although deep down everyone knows that they would do anything for us Haywood females. They are all softees and would beat up anyone who hurt us. They truly do care for us. Also my dads side of the family. I am surrounded by many godly family members who inspire and encourage. The grandparents from both sides have only supported my mom through everything that happened and they really showed their love for us. My grandpa even took the father role and beat me a couple times. (not my favorite past time activity). Even though I was often the but of the jokes at family events (still am sometimes. usually the older cousins) I know that it is how they show love. I am thankful for all their teasing. It made me tough and well I have always been the clown so they helped bring me down some levels. I am thankful for the family members that I didn't have the privilege to get to really know but still love soo much. My father who I still love and care for and pray for daily. He is the reason for my love of music. My Half Brothers. They are still my flesh and blood and though we didn't get to talk for many years. I still have a relationship and a huge place in my heart for them. All of my family has blessed me in more ways than I can express. I am so thankful for all of them
5. My adopted family. There are those in my life who have become so much more than merely friends. I have many brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, grandparents, etc. There are so many I cant name them all. They are all a huge blessing in my life. They put me in my place and help teach me lessons about myself that I can't always see. Grandpa Gary is one who just loves you no matter. You mess up and he still gives you a hug. You are on a down day and he says stuff like "one of the most beautiful girls in church just walked in". He is always full of encouragement. Rachel who has laughed and cried with me. Held me and scolded me. She is in everything but blood my sister. I love her so much. My second mom Heidi. My third mom Jeanne. Brother Jeremy. The list just keeps going. There is one thing that they all have in common. They are all driven by Christ. I think that He uses people to reach others and all these people He has put especially in my life for the purpose to help my walk with Him. I am truly blessed to have SOOOO many of these 'adopted' family members. I am blown away thinking about the impact that they have had on me and my walk. For instance I might not be saved if not for Jeremy. And I know all of them were praying for me when I wasn't living right. I felt it let me tell you. There was always the conviction tearing me apart knowing the truth. God didn't let me forget because they didn't forget. They fought the battle in prayer knowing talking to me would only shut me down and hurt our friendship (I am kinda stubborn and don't like to be told what to do. I am working on it haha).
6. My Church. My Pastor. All through school peers and sometimes teachers would tell me all these horrible things about my church. I had the PRIVILEGE to be raised in this amazing Christ driven church. Turning my back on it was the stupidest thing that I ever did. Yes they sheltered me but how is that a bad thing. I would call it protecting me more than 'sheltering'. I knew the truth of God my whole life and left it to experience this so called fun. Well the fun left me feeling empty and worthless. Through Christ I have life. The church is the house of God and I don't go there to be social or to impress boys. I go to serve God. To meet with God and to hear from God through the Pastor. My church is blessed to have as its pastor the made who has inspired and reached the world for Jesus. Who was called to by God for a purpose bigger than we can even imagine. Who hears from God more and more and whose idea and stances has created a fellowship of people with the same views: to reach the world for Christ and lead them to Jesus. I am so blessed to have been BORN into this vision and to now be a part of it! I can't even fathom how many people that my pastor has reached but he doesn't do for anyone else bit for God! :)
In all this there are so many more blessings that I could say. But the truth is that these six are the basis for all the rest. The main one being my salvation through Christ. I have been set free from the bondage of sin. I am determined to continue life never allowing myself to forget who God is my seeing what he brought me from and the blessing He has bestowed upon me that I don't deserve. The next step is to figure out what He has planned for me. What is His will for me now? What does He want me to do to further His kingdom? I just have to wait and see what the journey brings. This is an adventure that I am so excited for!! :)
I have been set free.
I have life through Him.
..LIFE!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment
Thank you for reading. Cant wait to hear feedback..